别扭

今天在看书,心里特别扭,因为有书外的东西不停的分散我的注意力。如同一个人有烟瘾想抽烟,但又想着抽烟会致癌,那么心理一定很煎熬。

我告诉自己要看书,因为考试的日子一天一日跟进,自己的花在学习上的时间并没有比之前的增多,知识的掌握程度也还不能满足考试的需要。这是自己的希望理想状态。事实是,我打开网页,看看路透中文,听听歌,东点点,西看看,时间并不理会我,照着自己的节奏感过去。事后,注意力再回到要看书计划没完成上,就觉得自己怎么这么没意志,恨不能撑自己几巴掌。“要看书”的想法和“上网做其他事”的做法就没法统一,所以我难受。

书上说我有两种做法,可以减轻自己这样扭捏的状态。

我可以改变我的做法,把分散我看书注意力的其他想法封存起来。不打开电脑,不去想女孩子,不去看外面的天气。然后,我安静的在自己的座位上,放上一点轻柔的音乐,看书。如果外界力量对分散自己的注意力的作用很强,我还要做“考试期限已来近,如果考试通过的话也许会好些”这样的自我暗示。

我也可以改变我的想法。就想,现在快下班了,就玩一下吧。或是,我刚已经看过书了,现在是休息时间。这样,也许也可以坦然一些。

一些人,觉得自己活的很苦很累,没人体会。是预期过高,还是自己太菜。那么不妨,改变一点自己的想法,或是改变一点自己的做法。可以怨天,但最好不要尤人;可以愤世,但最好不要成为愤青,也最后不要嫉俗。从改变自己开始。在这个重金重利重金属的时代,很难会像陶渊明一样静静的享受恬然的生活。既然做不到那么谈出世间,与世无争,那么就稍稍的让浮躁的情绪平息一样。世间熙熙攘攘,兼来利来利往,这个只适用于大部分,总也还有一些人,对你对我,不至于那么功利。也总还有一些人,会站出来,站在你的那边。

这些都明白一点的话,也许就不那么别扭了。

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